Posted 4 years ago

Friends who read this and not the other thing…

Anyone following me here: you are kind people. Kind indeed.

However, since RiserGlen passed away, I haven’t had any pictures over which to pour my adoration. This is why I shut down this blog and opened my own.

Please update and follow, if you please, my other blog “Simple Things,” located here:

http://itemforty.tumblr.com/

Thanks for reading,

-mgmt

Posted 4 years ago

So, after having everyone on the internet (well, a lot of them, not all of them) fapping about Scott Pilgrim and how great it is, I finally read the first book.

blehmeng:

Yeah. It’s a comic all right. It’s got drawings, and a story, and words. Yup. So, it gets good when exactly?

I dunno, I may have to go re-read Bone to get the taste of mediocrity out of my mouth.

Posted 4 years ago
We’ll miss you, Riser.

We’ll miss you, Riser.

Posted 4 years ago

Riser’s Minions

riser:

I know someone who is extremely Liberal. He of course complains about Glenn Beck and the “brainwashed conservatives” while quoting Keith Olbermann and reciting the Obama administration’s talking points like they are gospel. I deal with this person by agreeing with him about how CNN is terrible and The Colbert Report is awesome.

I know someone who is extremely “anti-corporation.” She of course contacts me through her Apple cell phone and COX Cable Internet connection to let me know she’s driving her Chevy Malibu powered by BP gasoline to the mall to buy her Al Gore books from Borders and get her clothes from the Gap. I deal with this person agreeing with her that George Orwell was a fantastic writer.

I am a fiscally conservative, socially liberal, skeptical agnostic who hates labels. I deal with myself by pretending that labeling myself a fiscally conservative, socially liberal, skeptical agnostic who hates labels is so paradoxical that it removes myself and the labels from existence.

I guess it’s all about what ever makes you feel good about yourself, I guess…

Posted 5 years ago
You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.
RiserGlen when asked about his heroin addiction.
Posted 5 years ago

The one where we discuss the future (and past) life of the planet.

  1. itemforty: WiiSucks told me he touched a friend inappropriately
  2. and that his friend has a boyfriend who is an olympic swimmer
  3. and that swimmer was going to kick his ass.
  4. WiiSucks then told me that he sent that swimmer the following email=
  5. "Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I did the mash, I did the monster mash. I did the mash, it was a graveyard smash. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening."
  6. Josh: WiiSucks' fantasy world is so much more grounded in reality that a kid's fantasy world should be.
  7. itemforty: I think it's called "syphilitic dementia."
  8. But what do I know, I'm just a doctor.
  9. Josh: hahaha
  10. If WiiSucks has syphilis, than maybe this fantasy world is our real world
  11. And we are just living in his dreams
  12. itemforty: Stranger things have happened.
  13. I mean, look at Chicago. That has to be the result of a twisted mind.
  14. Josh: Yeah. Ebert has to be the product of WiiSucks
  15. itemforty: No doubt (dawg). That guy is literally resting on the edge of absurdity.
  16. Dippin' Dots. shudder
  17. Josh: lol
Posted 5 years ago
Bale became a hero to cast and crew after his tirade against Hurlbut, who was widely despised, sources tell RadarOnline.com exclusively. “Hurlbut was a condescending (bleep) to everyone,” a source told us. His favorite line was “Why don’t you go stab yourself in the head, you idiot.”
Posted 5 years ago
To the man who only has a hammer, everything he encounters begins to look like a nail.
RiserGlen, Thanksgiving, 2011
Posted 5 years ago
Normal people, I’m told, would think that a plane ride to prison is the scariest thing to happen to you. I wish someone would have told me before this whole ordeal started; I just felt bored.

Normal people, I’m told, would think that a plane ride to prison is the scariest thing to happen to you. I wish someone would have told me before this whole ordeal started; I just felt bored.

Posted 5 years ago
It was about to be too much…I was almost there; total mental breakdown. I could feel it tugging in my head, whispering, urging me, in the darkest of voices it would say:
“let go and rely on me.”

It was about to be too much…I was almost there; total mental breakdown. I could feel it tugging in my head, whispering, urging me, in the darkest of voices it would say:
“let go and rely on me.”

Posted 5 years ago

I’m officially the best friend in the universe.

Posted 5 years ago
He took a second between bites and looked up at me with a scowl. “I never understood people who say, ‘if I could do it again, I would do it the same,’ even for favorable outcomes. I think people who rely on their mistakes for education are damn fools!”

He took a second between bites and looked up at me with a scowl. “I never understood people who say, ‘if I could do it again, I would do it the same,’ even for favorable outcomes. I think people who rely on their mistakes for education are damn fools!”

Posted 5 years ago

Riser agrees: Extreme Ghostbusters was Terrible

  1. itemforty: THIS IS WHY ALL OF YOU SHOULD MOVE TO AUSTIN
  2. Seriously our economy isn't too bad.
  3. Josh: I wanna move to NYC. But I need a job first...
  4. itemforty: Although our jingle market is taking a huge dive.
  5. It's just not the right time to be singing about deodorant or toothbrushes.
  6. What is in New York?
  7. Josh: Everything that isn't in Ohio
  8. itemforty: Like what?
  9. Josh: Jobs, culture, Sex and the City, Ghostbusters II
  10. itemforty: Hit me up with a checklist. I bet Austin has it.
  11. We have Ghostbusters.
  12. Well, I mean, kind of like Ghostbusters.
  13. More like Ghostbusters Extreme.
  14. Asians and cripples mostly.
  15. So, as long as you take mass transit you are safe to drive around.
  16. Josh: I ain't afraid of no Zipperheads
Posted 5 years ago

RiserGlen talking to a Mysterious person.

  1. Joshua: WHY ARE ALL OF OUR FRIENDS LOSING THEIR JOBS D
  2. WHY
  3. D: I DON'T KNOW RISER BUT I'M GONNA CALL THE EARTH DEFENSE FORCE
  4. Joshua: DO IT
  5. TOGETHER WE CAN DESTROY BUILDINGS FOR NO REASON
  6. D: WITH ONE ROCKET
  7. THE BUGS ARE COMMUNISTS
  8. Joshua: THAT ANT COULD KILL SOMEONE BLOW UP THE BUILDING IT'S ON
  9. D: I'D RATHER KILL ALL THE HUMANS MYSELF THAN LET A SINGLE ANT GET A SINGLE PERSON
  10. THAT'S AMERICA
  11. Joshua: THAT'S HOW TERRORISTS WIN
  12. WE TAKE AWAY THEIR VICTORY AND THEY HAVE NOTHING
  13. D: IF WE BLOW UP ALL THE BUILDINGS THERE WILL BE NONE LEFT FOR THEM
  14. GET OBAMA ON THE PHONE
  15. Joshua: THEN WE WIN IN OUR HEARTS
  16. D: I JUST BEAT MYST
  17. Joshua: HOLY FUCK
  18. I AM POSTING THIS ON TUMBLR
  19. D: MAKE SURE YOU GET MY GOOD SIDE
Posted 5 years ago

serious situations don’t exist, afterall, to be ignored completely. when faced with a spirit-crushing fight between reason and logic, some amount of glossing-over slips passed the point of irresponsible right in the realm of just plain retarded.