July 2010
2 posts
Friends who read this and not the other thing...
Anyone following me here: you are kind people. Kind indeed.
However, since RiserGlen passed away, I haven’t had any pictures over which to pour my adoration. This is why I shut down this blog and opened my own.
Please update and follow, if you please, my other blog “Simple Things,” located here:
http://itemforty.tumblr.com/
Thanks for reading,
-mgmt
So, after having everyone on the internet (well, a...
blehmeng:
Yeah. It’s a comic all right. It’s got drawings, and a story, and words. Yup. So, it gets good when exactly?
I dunno, I may have to go re-read Bone to get the taste of mediocrity out of my mouth.
February 2010
1 post
November 2009
1 post
Riser's Minions
riser:
I know someone who is extremely Liberal. He of course complains about Glenn Beck and the “brainwashed conservatives” while quoting Keith Olbermann and reciting the Obama administration’s talking points like they are gospel. I deal with this person by agreeing with him about how CNN is terrible and The Colbert Report is awesome.
I know someone who is extremely “anti-corporation.” She of...
June 2009
1 post
“You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.”
– RiserGlen when asked about his heroin addiction.
March 2009
1 post
The one where we discuss the future (and past)...
itemforty: WiiSucks told me he touched a friend inappropriately
and that his friend has a boyfriend who is an olympic swimmer
and that swimmer was going to kick his ass.
WiiSucks then told me that he sent that swimmer the following email=
"Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I did the mash, I did the monster mash. I did the mash, it was a graveyard smash. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening."
Josh: WiiSucks' fantasy world is so much more grounded in reality that a kid's fantasy world should be.
itemforty: I think it's called "syphilitic dementia."
But what do I know, I'm just a doctor.
Josh: hahaha
If WiiSucks has syphilis, than maybe this fantasy world is our real world
And we are just living in his dreams
itemforty: Stranger things have happened.
I mean, look at Chicago. That has to be the result of a twisted mind.
Josh: Yeah. Ebert has to be the product of WiiSucks
itemforty: No doubt (dawg). That guy is literally resting on the edge of absurdity.
Dippin' Dots. shudder
Josh: lol
February 2009
6 posts
“Bale became a hero to cast and crew after his tirade against Hurlbut, who was...”
– Radar Magazine (via riser)
“To the man who only has a hammer, everything he encounters begins to look like a...”
– RiserGlen, Thanksgiving, 2011
January 2009
10 posts
Riser agrees: Extreme Ghostbusters was Terrible
itemforty: THIS IS WHY ALL OF YOU SHOULD MOVE TO AUSTIN
Seriously our economy isn't too bad.
Josh: I wanna move to NYC. But I need a job first...
itemforty: Although our jingle market is taking a huge dive.
It's just not the right time to be singing about deodorant or toothbrushes.
What is in New York?
Josh: Everything that isn't in Ohio
itemforty: Like what?
Josh: Jobs, culture, Sex and the City, Ghostbusters II
itemforty: Hit me up with a checklist. I bet Austin has it.
We have Ghostbusters.
Well, I mean, kind of like Ghostbusters.
More like Ghostbusters Extreme.
Asians and cripples mostly.
So, as long as you take mass transit you are safe to drive around.
Josh: I ain't afraid of no Zipperheads
RiserGlen talking to a Mysterious person.
Joshua: WHY ARE ALL OF OUR FRIENDS LOSING THEIR JOBS D
WHY
D: I DON'T KNOW RISER BUT I'M GONNA CALL THE EARTH DEFENSE FORCE
Joshua: DO IT
TOGETHER WE CAN DESTROY BUILDINGS FOR NO REASON
D: WITH ONE ROCKET
THE BUGS ARE COMMUNISTS
Joshua: THAT ANT COULD KILL SOMEONE BLOW UP THE BUILDING IT'S ON
D: I'D RATHER KILL ALL THE HUMANS MYSELF THAN LET A SINGLE ANT GET A SINGLE PERSON
THAT'S AMERICA
Joshua: THAT'S HOW TERRORISTS WIN
WE TAKE AWAY THEIR VICTORY AND THEY HAVE NOTHING
D: IF WE BLOW UP ALL THE BUILDINGS THERE WILL BE NONE LEFT FOR THEM
GET OBAMA ON THE PHONE
Joshua: THEN WE WIN IN OUR HEARTS
D: I JUST BEAT MYST
Joshua: HOLY FUCK
I AM POSTING THIS ON TUMBLR
D: MAKE SURE YOU GET MY GOOD SIDE
“(fuck you, mom. You of all people should fucking know better.)
‘But why...”
– RiserGlen while standing over the last, headless immortal on Earth.
“For the last goddamn time, it’s spelled ‘dammit,’ DAMMIT!”
– RiserGlen, while eating at Le Boulanger de Monge in Paris.
The Ridiculous Ludacrisis
itemforty: HOLY FUCKING SHIT... RON IS EATING LUNCH WITH FUCKING LUDACRIS
Josh: I know
He's asking him questions for me
itemforty: that is seriously one of the few fucking people in the world I care to meet :(
how are you asking these questions?
ludacris is a damn ray of hope to me. he has proven that it's actually possible to be very popular in the rap industry without compromising talent.
Josh: hahahahahaha
Ron is asking him if he thinks he can beat Riser Glen in a drift racing battle
itemforty: hah!
make sure that he knows that a lady has to be on his shoulder
Josh: I made sure Ron will let him know what while I do not have my license, I am an avid watch of initial d
watcher*
itemforty: you have a class b license, right?
no, your CDL
Josh: I take corners like a fucking champion
itemforty: Tell him that it's a drift racing challenge in semi-trucks
Josh: NO
itemforty: hahah
Josh: TRAINS
itemforty: hahahahah
fucking perfect
Josh: MULTI TRACK DRIFTING
itemforty: drift racing a tank on mt. fuji
one tank that you share between the two of you
Josh: Now you're just being silly
itemforty: that's ridiculous liz lemon
ask him who his favorite itemforty is.
Josh: ADD THIS CONVERSATION TO YOUR TUMBLR
June 2008
24 posts
"RiserGlen": No, I mean people who say "that's disgusting"
me: ah, right on
"RiserGlen": Serious people
Not worth Riser-Glen-Time
me: Indeed hahah
People who make Bale frown
"RiserGlen": Exactly
"RiserGlen": Would someone just fucking cast lucy lawless as Wonder Woman already!?!
JESUS
“You have soap cheese burger? I like it when.”
– John Wayne Gacy, when asked about RiserGlen’s contribution to Diagnostic Medicine.
“That is unreasonable.”
– RiserGlen, discussing the terms of the apocolypse with Lucifer, God.
me: I'm not much, I'm just a doctor
"RiserGlen": lol
me: but I give you full permission to taking this guy down
or anyone else
and if something happens, I will go down with you
"RiserGlen": hahaha
me: break
rabahidiwaz30@hotmail.com: heyy. how are you? I'm doing OK. lonely though :( ... can you come watch me strip on my webcam??? pleaasee. i'll love you forever.. go here http://2LI4yEy5T.blogspot.com see ya there! =)
itemforty: I'm lonely too.
itemforty: Can we talk?
itemforty: I just need someone to talk to.
*** One or more messages may have been undeliverable.
itemforty: Can my friend RiserGlen come too?
My Ultimate Riser Fantasy
I had this dream that Riser and I just got up from breakfast to a knock at the door.
When we opened the door, we found a newspaper… but not any old newspaper! This newspaper was dated the following day!
Riser took the paper from my hand and skimmed through it. “You know,” he finally said, “we could take this information and really make a difference!”
“I...
me: so anyway you should come to Austin and eat some BBQ and enjoy your life YOU SHOULD ENJOY YOUR LIFE
"RiserGlen": OKAY I WILL
me: thank GOD I finally got through to you
"RiserGlen": You'll never remember this
me: remember what lolololo
"RiserGlen": I feel comfortable telling you anything I want
me: you are crazy
"RiserGlen": And everything you want to hear
me: don't toy with me
you know I'm fragile
"RiserGlen": Without problems
me: tll me your secerest
"RiserGlen": I'm going to have to talk to Tazar a bit more
I seriously have no idea what the fuck is going on
“I don’t think it’s ready yet. Call back in an hour.”
– RiserGlen while working at Papa John’s, Mars.
The master speaks
me: You are the face of Super Sonic Racing.
"RiserGlen": What can I say? I wanna go faster.
me: you are the future
you are a driver
you are a winner
things are going to change [for you] I can feel it
"RiserGlen": lol
“I challenge you all to a fight. To the death!”
– RiserGlen, front door of Skyline Chili, Fairfield, OH
